Redskins vs. Raiders Game Predictions: My 5 Personalities Weigh In
This team is starting to remind me of that classic scene from “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”.
King Arthur: [after Arthur's cut off both of the Black Knight's arms] Look, you stupid Bastard. You’ve got no arms left.
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: *Look*!
Black Knight: It’s just a flesh wound.
Are the Redskins in denial right now? After a spirited round of OTAs, training camp, and an undefeated preseason, the confident Redskins have walked into a buzz-saw during the first 3 games of the season. They were ambushed by Philly, and picked apart by Green Bay and Detroit. To a man, every player on the team recognizes that there are major deficiencies that need to be addressed, but do they have what it takes to turn this thing around? Or are they just in denial? One more game before a much-needed bye week. My 5 personalities are reeling from the start of this season. As they sift through the carnage of the season thus far, here’s how they see the outcome of this Sunday’s match-up against the Raiders:
Captain Optimist: Redskins win 34-24 (Season Record 0-3)
“Before the season started, I had this game penciled as a blowout. My confidence in this team is a little bit shaken, and I am starting to cross my fingers and toes hoping for a win. Griffin, in spite of his mistakes, is getting better. If he has the same mindset that he had last year, then he won’t make the same mistake twice this year. Morris showed that he can do real damage if a running lane opens up for him. Garcon is a beast, and Hankerson is showing that he can be a reliable target. Last week, the defense actually forced 3-and-outs and kept the game within reach. It’s a bummer that Kai is still out, but Potter nailed a 42 yard attempt. This game will be hard-fought, but the Redskins will show that they are determined to get back on the winning track, and will enter the bye week no more than 2 games behind in the NFC East, and quite possibly 1 game behind. Keep the faith, baby! HTTR!!!”
Captain Realist: Redskins Win 27-24 (Season Record 0-3)
“I’m having a very hard time getting a handle on this game. Oakland is working on a short week. Will Terrelle Pryor be cleared to start? As of Wednesday, he hasn’t been cleared to practice. If he plays, will he look like the second coming of Michael Vick or will he look lost? If Matt Flynn starts at QB, will we make Green Bay regret ever trading him, or will we bring him down? Can we stop McFadden? Will Griffin continue to improve as he gets more reps? Will the defense stuff the run, learn how to tackle, and tighten up in the secondary? Who knows? It’s anyone’s guess. Like Captain Optimist, I also had this game pegged as a sure win, but now I’m not so sure. What I do know is this game is a “must win”, and given all of the unknowns, the Redskins will manufacture a win going into the bye week.”
Captain Vegas: Redskins win 23-21 (Season Record 0-3)
“The Redskins are favored by 3 points with a 44 point over/under. I always keep my predictions close to the betting lines, but I haven’t come close to winning this year. A last minute, 38-yard field goal by Potter wins the game for Washington, and the Raiders cover the point spread.”
Captain Prozac: Raiders win 34-20 (Season Record 3-0)
“Let me make one thing perfectly clear - I don’t like watching the Redskins lose. Please give me a reason to predict a win. Right now, I have absolutely no confidence in this team turning things around and delivering a win. Last week, we made Matthew Stafford look like Aaron Rodgers, and Joique Bell looked like Adrian Peterson. Simply pathetic. Defensively, we can’t tackle, stop the run or defend a pass. If Matt Flynn starts in place of the concussed Terrelle Pryor, he will light up the scoreboard to prove that he belongs in the NFL. Easy enough to do against our secondary. The Raiders managed to score 21 points against the Broncos. Just imagine what they can do to our defense. Our offense will look better, but once again it will be a game of catch-up, and we will fall woefully short of the mark. Trust me guys, I don’t like being undefeated in my predictions this year. I actually want us to win. But you have to give me a reason to believe. This sucks. Maybe I will play golf on Sunday afternoon instead. Wait, I suck at that too.”
Captain Morgan: Redskins win 27-20 (Season Record 0-3)
“Okay, it’s time for a win guys. I don’t care about the record, and I have already put the last 3 games behind me. Thank god the rest of the NFC East looks horrible as well. This is the last week before the bye week, and I just know this team is going to win. Call it a strong gut feeling, but hey, I’ve got a big gut. Oh, and we are playing the Raiders. Enough said. I don’t care about stats - this is all about passion and character. Do the Redskins want to win this game badly enough? I know they do, and they will figure out a way to do it. I look for the Redskins to actually be leading this game most of the way. The Raiders will attempt to make a valiant comeback, only to get smacked-down. The victory “pimp snifter” is waiting to be filled with Grand Marnier at the end of the game. It hasn’t been used this season, but I will be tasting the sweet nectar of success Sunday afternoon. HTTR! Peace out.”
After reviewing the collective input from my 5 personalities, I am going to side with Captain Morgan this week. Redskins win 27-20.