Redskins vs. Cowboys Game Predictions: My 5 Personalities Weigh In
The NFC East is a disaster this year. Collectively, this division is 5-14 throughout the first five weeks of play. Two of those wins came against non-division opponents. Right now, it seems the only teams the NFC East can beat are each other. The Redskins, rested after an early bye week, travel to Dallas to face the Cowboys. My 5 personalities are chomping at the bit to weigh-in with their predictions. So let’s get started:
Captain Optimist: Redskins win 38-31 (Season Record: 1-3)
“I woke up from a crystal-clear dream this morning, and I have no doubt the Redskins will win. In my dream, I saw Robert Griffin III walking on to the field before the game. He looked around “Jerruh-World”, smiled, and broke into a jog around the stadium. A group of Baylor alumni, arriving early, were sitting in the stands and cheering him as he started his pre-game routine. After finishing his jog around the field, he noticed a familiar face on the Redskins sideline. It was Art Briles, his coach at Baylor. After exchanging a few pleasantries, the coach put his arm around Griffin and said “Robert, you’re ready. We’ve been through this before.” Griffin nodded in agreement, and dashed off the field. As the team hit the field, Griffin addressed his teammates. “I’m back, we’re back. Let’s do this thing and DOMINATE.”
The Redskins take the opening kickoff and surprise Dallas by going into no-huddle and hurry up. Griffin spreads the defenses with a brilliant combination of play-action, roll-outs and designed runs up the sidelines. The pace of the game leaves gaping holes for Morris, who picks up 7-8 yards on several carries. The Redskins move the chains efficiently, and culminate their first drive with a 7-yard strike to a wide-open Jordan Reed at the pylon. Dallas counters with quick-hitters to Witten, Dez and Cole Beasley. Demarco Murray gets a few short gainers. The defense bends, but doesn’t break. On a 3rd & 6, Romo fires a quick-hitter to Beasley under pressure. Amerson jumps the route, and returns his second interception for a touchdown. Redskins up 14-0. And the crowd grows quiet, except for the huge numbers of fans from Waco and Copperas Cove wearing RGIII jerseys. And the rout is on.
Griffin, with steely resolve, keeps driving the Redskins all game long. Romo and company mount a charge in the 4th quarter, and manage to close the gap, but the game was never close. There you have it. That was my dream, and it was very real. I’m sticking with a 38-31 prediction. Robert Griffin will start a very long campaign of beating the Cowboys in Dallas, establishing AT&T Stadium as his home away from home.”
Captain Realist: Cowboys win 38-34 (Season Record: 0-4)
“Nice dream, Captain Optimist! But I just don’t see it that way. This will be a classic Redskins vs. Cowboys match-up, but we are going to fall short of victory and it’s going to be agonizing. Griffin and Romo will go toe-to-toe, but this time Tony wins. The Redskins offense and defense play well enough to win but the outcome of this game will be determined by a couple of stupid mistakes. This time we are on the losing side.”
Captain Vegas: Cowboys win 34-27 (Season Record 0-4)
“Dallas is favored by 5.5-6 points with a 54 point over/under. I predict the Cowboys will cover the spread, and I’m taking the over. Nothing personal. I want the Redskins to win, but I only bet on the favorite to win. The game will be a nail-biter, but the Redskins will come up short.”
Captain Prozac: Redskins lose 41-27 (Season Record 3-1)
“Nice dream, Captain Optimist, but you are the most delusional person I have ever met in my life. Listen up - we are 1-3. Our only win came against the Oakland “Rai-duhs” sans Terrelle Pryor and Darren McFadden. Dallas almost beat Denver last week. There is no way we match up against Dallas. We’re going to get killed. I’m not even sure how we’re going to score 27 points, unless Dallas falls asleep on us. We are simply not that good. Until we can prove that we can take control of a game and dominate for 4 quarters, I will continue to predict disaster. After this debacle, we face the Bears, Broncos and Chargers.
1-7, here we come. Help yourself to a Prozac. I’m stocked up for the season.”
Captain Morgan: Redskins win 45-38 (Season Record 0-4)
“Love the dream, Captain Optimist! I’ll see your score prediction and raise it. Forget the past 4 games. Our boys are going to come out refreshed, focused, angry, and ready to kick some butt. Griffin loves playing in Dallas. This is Texas, and he’s a home town hero. He’s going to light it up, and the rest of the team is going to respond. The Redskins will be buoyed by the return of Rob Jackson and Jarvis Jenkins, adding fresh, healthy bodies to the defense. Dallas will launch a furious comeback attempt, but Romo will make some huge mistakes which will leave him slumped on the bench. Plenty of BBQ brisket, sausage and all of the sides will be on the menu. This is going to be a great game, and I cant’ wait. HTTR!”
Austins Official Prediction: After listening to my 5 personalities debate this game, I’m going with Captain Optimist again. Redskins win 38-31.