Kerry 0, Bush 0, Akhhorus 1 !!!

[akhhorus]

A friend of mine wrote me for President in her absentee ballot for North Carolina. End the election now, and I'm President(a horrifying thought, I'm sure).. :Pickle:

[fent]

i just got one and i'm considering who i should write in since it won't really matter in Texas...my vote goes to the highest bidder...you too can take the early lead with akh!

[akhhorus]

i just got one and i'm considering who i should write in since it won't really matter in Texas...my vote goes to the highest bidder...you too can take the early lead with akh!

In my administration, you can have:
A choice ambassadorship(name it)
or
Viceroy of Belgium.

[fent]

In my administration, you can have:
A choice ambassadorship(name it)
or
Viceroy of Belgium.

how about director of interns? i keed i keed....

[akhhorus]

how about director of interns? i keed i keed....

You can be my harem interviewer.

[Jimskin]

A friend of mine wrote me for President in her absentee ballot for North Carolina. End the election now, and I'm President(a horrifying thought, I'm sure).. :Pickle:
Akh: I always wanted to be the ambassador to Microneasia (sp?) It's gotta be a tiny little island that nothing goes wrong on and can send 20 troops to Iraq and be a member of a huge coalition and get tons of money from Bush.
Don't get no better than that.

[Axegrinder]

Your fair.....you have my support!

[Spence]

and I'm President(a horrifying thought, I'm sure).. :Pickle:Couldn't be worse than another four years.

[SkinsKY]

Couldn't be worse than another four years.

It could, but we'd all have enough Beam in our system's to not notice.

[fent]

It could, but we'd all have enough Beam in our system's to not notice.

that's his campaign slogan actually....

Beam for America!

[akhhorus]

"Jim Beam for Everyone!!!"
and
"I'm Akhhorus, B!tch!!!"

[IowaSkinsFan]

Your now tied with Bush, akh. I mailed mine in on Wednesday.

[Skinzaholic]

Your now tied with Bush, akh. I mailed mine in on Wednesday.

Going down to the wire!

[RedskinsDave]

Dave marches to Capitol Hill to intimidate Fent like the libs suspected he would.....

[akhhorus]

The latest Zogby poll, confirmed by the ABC/WashPost tracking poll gives me 7 votes.

[GibbsRules!]

You now have 8!

[Axegrinder]

The latest Zogby poll, confirmed by the ABC/WashPost tracking poll gives me 7 votes.
The polls have lied.As in the case of the 2000 election,the pollsters are way off base.While I offered you my endorsement,I really have no other choice but to vote for Kerry.My endorsement was as they say,a political stunt.It was used to siphon votes from the Bush campaign,ala Ross Perot.While you may be a decent alternative to Bush,you're still too wide right for me!
Maybe next time.

[akhhorus]

You now have 8!

Thank you! I promise not to lead this country into war, unless I, personally, stand to profit handsomely from it!

[GibbsRules!]

to siphon votes from the Bush campaign,ala Ross Perot.
Maybe next time.

is a big sucking sound in Washington"

[akhhorus]

I also promise to have multiple affairs with any woman who works in my White House. I also promise to do one press conference a month..totally drunk!

[GibbsRules!]

I also promise to have multiple affairs with any woman who works in my White House. I also promise to do one press conference a month..totally drunk!
A little Kennedy/Clinton influence no doubt!

[akhhorus]

A little Kennedy/Clinton influence no doubt!

No..just emulating the Great South Carolina politicians throughout time! There is also no promise I won't make in order to get your vote!

[Axegrinder]

No..just emulating the Great South Carolina politicians throughout time! There is also no promise I won't make in order to get your vote!
:D :D
You sound like Tom DeLay!!!

[GibbsRules!]

Need a running mate?

[akhhorus]

Need a running mate?

If I say yes, my gf will dis"member" me. So...no!

[GibbsRules!]

'Nuff said!

[Jimreaper007]

Got My Vote too!

I just ask that you pass an amendment making it legal to kick the sh*t out of people who cause accidents because they are on cell phones.

[RedskinRyan]

that's his campaign slogan actually....

actually, i would think that it would be 'beam me up scottie for president!'

[akhhorus]

Got My Vote too!

I just ask that you pass an amendment making it legal to kick the sh*t out of people who cause accidents because they are on cell phones.

I can do public crucifixions, good enough?

[akhhorus]

actually, i would think that it would be 'beam me up scottie for president!'

I have better hair than Traficante.

[GibbsRules!]

I can do public crucifixions, good enough?
Stoning child molesters on Pay Per View?

[akhhorus]

Stoning child molesters on Pay Per View?

dipping them in peanut butter and locking them in a cage with a Grizzly Bear.

[GibbsRules!]

We might have some reality show ideas here... hmmm

[Axegrinder]

dipping them in peanut butter and locking them in a cage with a Grizzly Bear.
In order to be P.C. you have to put the bear in timeout first!

[RedskinRyan]

Stoning child molesters on Pay Per View?

noooooooooooooo. if anybody's getting stoned, its gonna be me...or ricky williams

oh wait, your not talking about that kind of getting stoned......

how about 'telemarketer pinatas' ?

[RedskinRyan]

In order to be P.C. you have to put the bear in timeout first!

and the bear has to have the same color fur in order to avoid it being a hate crime

[akhhorus]

I think I'm gonna have to start picking out my HR cabinet soon.

[GibbsRules!]

We could make Abu Gharib look like Mr Rogers Neighborhood, and no one would be the wiser!

[akhhorus]

We could make Abu Gharib look like Mr Rogers Neighborhood, and no one would be the wiser!

Ok...too far.

[GibbsRules!]

The precedent is set. Nobody will be held accountable, at least not a high ranking government member. You can get away with anything, trust me.

[Axegrinder]

The precedent is set. Nobody will be held accountable, at least not a high ranking government member. You can get away with anything, trust me.
Wrong Rookie!!!!
Spence will be watching!!!!

[GibbsRules!]

Don't know Spence. Can he be bought?

[akhhorus]

Don't know Spence. Can he be bought?

Probably not.

[GibbsRules!]

He must be a man of high moral and ethical standards, we need him in government!

[Axegrinder]

:honor: Spence!!! :honor:

[JoeDaSchmoe]

Okay, who is this girl?

[Jimreaper007]

I can do public crucifixions, good enough?


Public crucifixions...may be a tad on the touchy side....but I am a big fan of floggings. My personal favorite is Tar and feathering!!!!

I will contribute vast sums of money to your campaign if I am guaranteed the appointment to the job of the black hooded execution dude.

(yes...that is the correct title)

[Spence]

Okay, who is this girl?I don't know, but she's cute.

[Jimreaper007]

Why are the words Jail and bait coming to mind????

[GibbsRules!]

She must be old enough to vote. I don't need to go any further with that!

[Jimreaper007]

She must be old enough to vote. I don't need to go any further with that!


GR,

The Moral Majority is going to hunt you down!


LOL!

[GibbsRules!]

GR,

The Moral Majority is going to hunt you down!


LOL!
The benevolent Moral Majority, you think they would judge me?

[akhhorus]

hey you two, get your own thread. This one is about my future as the leader of this country.

[Jimreaper007]

Oh yes...sorry

VOTE AKH, VOTE AKH!!!!!!!

Paid for by Jimreaper and the association for black hooded executioner dudes.

[GibbsRules!]

This one is about my future as the leader of this country.
So what you are saying is, you won't consider the voice of the Moral Majority?

[akhhorus]

So what you are saying is, you won't consider the voice of the Moral Majority?

only in shallow plattitudes to get votes.

[GibbsRules!]

only in shallow plattitudes to get votes.
In that case I will not recant my vote!

[akhhorus]

Continuing my Putney Swope-esqe candidacy, I 'm announcing my HR cabinet early! And I'm still looking for a VP.


Sec. of State: Axegrinder
Sec. of Def: RedskinsDave
Attorney-General: Spence
Sec. of Labor: Carmelo
Sec. of Treasury(and Presidential Fall guy--you have to take all the abuse from the Prez): JoeDaSchmoe
Sec. of Transportation: RskinsFan10
Sec. of Energy/Presidential Intern(kidding!): PGiddy18
Press Sec: PennSkinsFan
My Karl Rove: Fentonator
Sec. of Education: AGibbsGirl
Sec. of Veteran's Affairs: Namvet4
Court Jester: GeneralDisorder
Executioner: JimReaper007
Homeland Security: CarMike
CIA: Hail2Skins
Interior: IowaSkinsFan
Agriculture: (who cares)
Commerce: Keino

[RedskinRyan]

as a former landscpaer, i'll take care of agriculture(but i'd love jester)

also, wont you leading the future have to wait, since your under the age of 45? i believe you are anyways.....

[fent]

as a former landscpaer, i'll take care of agriculture(but i'd love jester)

also, wont you leading the future have to wait, since your under the age of 45? i believe you are anyways.....

don't have to be 45 ryan...we're not moving forward on this issue until you do a little research and get back to us with the correct age to serve the presidency

[PGiddy18]

Continuing my Putney Swope-esqe candidacy, I 'm announcing my HR cabinet early! And I'm still looking for a VP.


Sec. of State: Axegrinder
Sec. of Def: RedskinsDave
Attorney-General: Spence
Sec. of Labor: Carmelo
Sec. of Treasury(and Presidential Fall guy--you have to take all the abuse from the Prez): JoeDaSchmoe
Sec. of Transportation: RskinsFan10
Sec. of Energy/Presidential Intern(kidding!): PGiddy18
Press Sec: PennSkinsFan
My Karl Rove: Fentonator
Sec. of Education: AGibbsGirl
Sec. of Veteran's Affairs: Namvet4
Court Jester: GeneralDisorder
Executioner: JimReaper007
Homeland Security: CarMike
CIA: Hail2Skins
Interior: IowaSkinsFan
Agriculture: (who cares)
Commerce: Keino

:lol1: All of you guys are giving me this reputation... what did i ever do?!

[fent]

:lol1: All of you guys are giving me this reputation... what did i ever do?!

you joined the board...that's all you needed :Peace:

[Spence]

I had Axegrinder pegged for Secretary of Getting Funkaay With All Dem Lovely Ladies.

[Axegrinder]

I have a few questions for The Candidate concerning his cabinet.
1]What criteria did you use in selecting your cabinet?
2]Are we having confirmation hearings?If so,by who?
3] Are you ready to live with those choices for the next 4 years?

[Axegrinder]

I had Axegrinder pegged for Secretary of Getting Funkaay With All Dem Lovely Ladies.
In a previous life[before marriage] I held this position. :)
It wasn't a lateral move as much as it was a horizontal one!:D
What a career path!

[fent]

I have a few questions for The Candidate concerning his cabinet.
1]What criteria did you use in selecting your cabinet?
2]Are we having confirmation hearings?If so,by who?
3] Are you ready to live with those choices for the next 4 years?

i think it's time for me to step into my karl rove role now....

1] Akhhorus and I discussed this based on the posts of the past year...we feel that we made the right decision for this board based on the people's actions.

2] We can confirm if you'd like but since we control the "rubber sta.." er...senate as well then we'd just be wasting time.

3] We are more than ready to live with these choices for the next 8 years and beyond as i choose my next pupp..er candidate

[akhhorus]

I have a few questions for The Candidate concerning his cabinet.
1]What criteria did you use in selecting your cabinet?
2]Are we having confirmation hearings?If so,by who?
3] Are you ready to live with those choices for the next 4 years?

What Rove said.

[fent]

what rove said.

okay...we no longer need to work on our communication here....

[akhhorus]

okay...we really need to work on our communication here....

i edited, I edited!

[fent]

i edited, I edited!

good job georg...er akh...that receiver a little out of whack today?

[Axegrinder]

Time to rehearse the term Akhgate!
Something just doesn't seem on the up and up.

[PGiddy18]

As the intern should i be taking notes on this? Or do I just stand around...talk on the phone/computer all day?

[fent]

As the intern should i be taking notes on this? Or do I just stand around...talk on the phone/computer all day?

do whatever it is you do best :D

[Axegrinder]

Cabinet Meeting!!! :D

[PGiddy18]

you people are getting me on 2 threads! No double teamingdo whatever it is you do best :D
I am a woman of many talents. I'm not limited to just one thing...

[Axegrinder]

you people are getting me on 2 threads! No double teaming
I am a woman of many talents. I'm not limited to just one thing...
Where's your stamina at now,youngster?:D

[PGiddy18]

Where's your stamina at now,youngster?:D

Hey I never said i wasn't up for the challenge! I think i'm doing fairly well! Akh... maybe you should bump me up to your VP candidate...

[akhhorus]

good job georg...er akh...that receiver a little out of whack today?

It's my strategery....Y'all are misunderestimating me. Rove..more beam!

[fent]

It's my strategery....Y'all are misunderestimating me. Rove..more beam!

shhh!!!! you'll give away the secret sauce!!!!

[Jimreaper007]

Continuing my Putney Swope-esqe candidacy, I 'm announcing my HR cabinet early! And I'm still looking for a VP.


Sec. of State: Axegrinder
Sec. of Def: RedskinsDave
Attorney-General: Spence
Sec. of Labor: Carmelo
Sec. of Treasury(and Presidential Fall guy--you have to take all the abuse from the Prez): JoeDaSchmoe
Sec. of Transportation: RskinsFan10
Sec. of Energy/Presidential Intern(kidding!): PGiddy18
Press Sec: PennSkinsFan
My Karl Rove: Fentonator
Sec. of Education: AGibbsGirl
Sec. of Veteran's Affairs: Namvet4
Court Jester: GeneralDisorder
Executioner: JimReaper007
Homeland Security: CarMike
CIA: Hail2Skins
Interior: IowaSkinsFan
Agriculture: (who cares)
Commerce: Keino

Dude you need a Minister of Mis-Information. Baghdad Bob is available!!!

[Axegrinder]

Akh and Fent are on a campaign stop in another forum!

[Minnesota Mike]

Continuing my Putney Swope-esqe candidacy, I 'm announcing my HR cabinet early! And I'm still looking for a VP.


Sec. of State: Axegrinder
Sec. of Def: RedskinsDave
Attorney-General: Spence
Sec. of Labor: Carmelo
Sec. of Treasury(and Presidential Fall guy--you have to take all the abuse from the Prez): JoeDaSchmoe
Sec. of Transportation: RskinsFan10
Sec. of Energy/Presidential Intern(kidding!): PGiddy18
Press Sec: PennSkinsFan
My Karl Rove: Fentonator
Sec. of Education: AGibbsGirl
Sec. of Veteran's Affairs: Namvet4
Court Jester: GeneralDisorder
Executioner: JimReaper007
Homeland Security: CarMike
CIA: Hail2Skins
Interior: IowaSkinsFan
Agriculture: (who cares)
Commerce: Keino


Hmmph!

Leave me out huh! I'll show you. I'm voting for Lyndon Larouche.

[Spence]

What Rove said.That's what Bush says. 48 times a day.

[RedskinsDave]

Sec. of Def: RedskinsDave


YES!!!, Monaco, watch your back!!!!!!!

[Spence]

YES!!!, Monaco, watch your back!!!!!!!Send us 50 of your finest Russian prostitutes or we'll bomb your casinos to powder!

[RedskinsDave]

Send us 50 of your finest Russian prostitutes or we'll bomb your casinos to powder!

That's the spirit Mr. AG. We will finally have debauchery back where it belongs!!

[GibbsRules!]

That's the spirit Mr. AG. We will finally have debauchery back where it belongs!!
Don't we have debauchery in the current administration?

[RedskinsDave]

Don't we have debauchery in the current administration?

Keep it funny...........

[fent]

Keep it funny...........

his unfunniness has been noted and the minimum number of posts before eligibility for office has been raised in turn

[Axegrinder]

his unfunniness has been noted and the minimum number of posts before eligibility for office has been raised in turn
Don't get me started about admonishments!:D

[Minnesota Mike]

Hmmph!

Leave me out huh! I'll show you. I'm voting for Lyndon Larouche.

What about something small and insignificant, you know like a seat on the Supreme Court, or maybe the Federal Reserve Chairmanship. Those two jobs are so easy, I could do them both at the same time.

[Axegrinder]

What about something small and insignificant, you know like a seat on the Supreme Court, or maybe the Federal Reserve Chairmanship. Those two jobs are so easy, I could do them both at the same time.
I'd like to endorse Minnesota Mike for a position within this administration.

[RedskinsDave]

Uh, he didn't appoint a Secretary of Health and Human Services. Sure the job sucks but I hear you can do really well in the real estate industry with it.

[akhhorus]

White House Counsel: Minnesota Mike.

I will hear suggestions for NSA and HHS.

[GibbsRules!]

his unfunniness has been noted and the minimum number of posts before eligibility for office has been raised in turn
The sad part is there was no pun intended.

[Minnesota Mike]

White House Counsel: Minnesota Mike.


Sweet. I accept.

Now practice this "Under advise of counsel, I am unable to answer that question at this time."

(I go over this with all my clients in our first meeting.)

[RedskinsDave]

The sad part is there was no pun intended.

Again, this is a fun thread, don't ruin it.

[GibbsRules!]

Again, this is a fun thread, don't ruin it.
No need to break bad RD. I understand your boys lost last night and made history. Maybe tonight will bring a different result for your sake. We can take it to another thread...

[fent]

No need to break bad RD. I understand your boys lost last night and made history. Maybe tonight will bring a different result for your sake. We can take it to another thread...

you have now doubled your previous doubling of necessary posts....keep this up and you shall be held in contempt of rove and chained in front of air force one

[GibbsRules!]

you have now doubled your previous doubling of necessary posts....keep this up and you shall be held in contempt of rove and chained in front of air force one
What is this Martial Law! You thread police are out of control. I voted for this guy!

[fent]

What is this Martial Law! You thread police are out of control. I voted for this guy!

who is this marshall? this is Rove law...i mean er....

[GibbsRules!]

who is this marshall? this is Rove law...i mean er....

Oh!!! The Rove law... Well the lightbulb finally went on. Sorry, I must have had a Cowboy moment there!

[Axegrinder]

Please bear with the rookie.He's still getting his feet wet.He thinks he's 10 ft.tall and bulletproof.While I won't disagree with what he's trying to say,he must learn the proper way to say it.

Message To GibbsRule:establish yourself first.Get the folks to know you,then aim for the heart!:D
If you choose not to...ask ILoveBush or JimmmBobbb what they think about the piling on effect.
CAN I HEAR AN AMEN!!!?

[akhhorus]

Please bear with the rookie.He's still getting his feet wet.He thinks he's 10 ft.tall and bulletproof.While I won't disagree with what he's trying to say,he must learn the proper way to say it.

Message To GibbsRule:establish yourself first.Get the folks to know you,then aim for the heart!:D
If you choose not to...ask ILoveBush or JimmmBobbb what they think about the piling on effect.
CAN I HEAR AN AMEN!!!?

Oh wait, you cant...They're banned!

[MrWiggles]

Oh wait, you cant...They're banned!

If I vote for you will you bring them back? They were funny. It was in a 'satisfied customer of the home labotomy kit' sort of way, but it was still funy.

[akhhorus]

If I vote for you will you bring them back? They were funny. It was in a 'satisfied customer of the home labotomy kit' sort of way, but it was still funy.

huh? I didnt have anything to do with either of them. I think they were real, I've met too many people like them not to believe it.

[GibbsRules!]

Please bear with the rookie.He's still getting his feet wet.He thinks he's 10 ft.tall and bulletproof.While I won't disagree with what he's trying to say,he must learn the proper way to say it.

Message To GibbsRule:establish yourself first.Get the folks to know you,then aim for the heart!:D
If you choose not to...ask ILoveBush or JimmmBobbb what they think about the piling on effect.
CAN I HEAR AN AMEN!!!?
I get it, the whole pecking order thing. I guess it makes sense, when you consider how rookies are treated in the NFL. I'll take the hazing, won't be the first time. I've seen both sides. I'll pick and choose my battles. Wait, the Yankees are changing pitchers again...

[MrWiggles]

huh? I didnt have anything to do with either of them. I think they were real, I've met too many people like them not to believe it.

I never claimed you had anything to do with them. I just mentioned that I thought they were funny and would like to see them back. I'm asking you to look directly into the camera and promise you will bring them back to the board.

[akhhorus]

I never claimed you had anything to do with them. I just mentioned that I thought they were funny and would like to see them back. I'm asking you to look directly into the camera and promise you will bring them back to the board.

When I am President, we(royal we) will force idiots like them to have their own websites where they have to post their thoughts and we can make fun of them.

[MrWiggles]

When I am President, we(royal we) will force idiots like them to have their own websites where they have to post their thoughts and we can make fun of them.

In that case note only do you have my vote, but let me know where to send the campaign donation. If you need anyone to organize some rallies, I'm your guy ... particularly if it involves organizing college co-eds. (hehehe I said organ)

[Axegrinder]

It looks through these eyes as if AKH'S[pronounced AXE :D]Express has taken the people by storm and is picking up supporters everywhere!