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Spence
11-23-2005, 11:26 AM
Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory
August 17, 2005 | Issue 41•33

KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."

Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal interpretation of the Bible.

According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.

The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision."

"We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said.

Source (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512/print/)

Ibleedburgundy
11-23-2005, 11:51 AM
I just want those of you who reject this intelligent falling theory to know, you are rejecting God from your life. So if a piano should fall on your head, and I'm not saying it will, don't come crying to God. :)

Spence
11-23-2005, 12:10 PM
I just want those of you who reject this intelligent falling theory to know, you are rejecting God from your life. So if a piano should fall on your head, and I'm not saying it will, don't come crying to God. :):lol1:

MoeRedskins
11-23-2005, 12:19 PM
Does anybody else find it ironic that a bunch of idiots came up with the idea of "Intelligent Falling"

Ibleedburgundy
11-23-2005, 12:24 PM
Does anybody else find it ironic that a bunch of idiots came up with the idea of "Intelligent Falling"


It's no more ironic than the "intelligence" that took us to war in Iraq.

Spence
11-23-2005, 12:30 PM
Follow the link. It's from The Onion, fellows. A little levity, I thought, might be in order.

MoeRedskins
11-23-2005, 12:37 PM
Follow the link. It's from The Onion, fellows. A little levity, I thought, might be in order.

Thats what I get from trusting your postings to be legit without bothering to click on the link. I thought the exceptions to gravity (angles flying, Lucifer falling) was funny, but then again reading most of the right's propaganda is funny.

danny's stogie
11-23-2005, 12:40 PM
Thats what I get from trusting your postings to be legit without bothering to click on the link. I thought the exceptions to gravity (angles flying, Lucifer falling) was funny, but then again reading most of the right's propaganda is funny.

The fact that you never thought twice about the validity of the source says a whole lot about the nutjobs being parodied.

MoeRedskins
11-23-2005, 12:58 PM
The fact that you never thought twice about the validity of the source says a whole lot about the nutjobs being parodied.

It sounded legit to me, just like there article on Clinton's BJ's for Oil policy. I could see it happen.

Spence
11-23-2005, 01:13 PM
Thats what I get from trusting your postings to be legit without bothering to click on the link. I thought the exceptions to gravity (angles flying, Lucifer falling) was funny, but then again reading most of the right's propaganda is funny.That's what makes The Onion funny. It sounds like it could be true.

fent
11-23-2005, 01:21 PM
That's what makes The Onion funny. It sounds like it could be true.

the part that convinced me it was true was that the nutjob scientist was from Oral Roberts...:banghead:

BurgundyNGold
11-23-2005, 03:22 PM
Yeah, I had read this before. The sad thing is, with that group, this stroy could very well be true.

skinfanatic
11-24-2005, 12:23 PM
i always knew the man was holding me down, i just didnt know it was THE man

CNYSkinFan
11-25-2005, 08:15 AM
That is brilliant...plain brilliant. And the scary thing is someone somewhere will actually believe that and it will be part of a school board initiative somewhere in Kansas in the next 20 years.