My Problem

[SkinsASchamps]

I am an assistant coach for a youth football team. Ages 11-13. This is my first year. Im in college(senior). My friend, who is also in college, are the assistants to the guy who has been doing it for the past three years. He is old school. He never played football. He goes off of what he hears or thinks. My friend and I both played and both know a decent amount. MY friend works with our schools team(JMU). I have a coaching minor. Anyway we both want to help out and love kids and love working on the team, but this coach wont let us have a say about anything. It is his way or the highway. He has his system and wont deviate from it for a minute. He wont listen to us or take our ideas serious.

Anyway tonight it came to a head. I was working with the WRs on routes and catching and he came over and redid everything I did and told them I wasnt telling them the right stuff. Now this guy is a nice guy but he has big time power issues. He told me to throw them passes while he coached them. I was so mad. I want to coach, not throw footballs. I donate my time every night for 2 hours when I could be doing something else. Im not paid. I dont wanna sit and throw balls at practice and not do anything, but I cant quit because that isnt me and I love these kids. What do I do? I am going to talk to him tomorrow and say that I didnt sign up to help to throw balls to kids. I want to have more responsiblity. Im so frustrated. Any words of advice or anything would be appreciated. Thanks.
Dan

[rskinsfan10]

You need to tell him how you feel, point blank. If he doesn't respect what you bring to the table, then he doesn't need you in essence, and it really is a waste of your time. If he feels that all he wants you to do is teach his technique, then he should have told you that from the beginning and you wouldn't be having this misunderstanding.

Having said that, as always it will be the kids that wind up suffering if they are losing a good coach that actually cares about them and want to see them enjoy the game. However, you yourself have to be selfish in the fact that you aren't going to really enjoy being there, so what are the kids actually going to gain from that?

[SkinsASchamps]

You need to tell him how you feel, point blank. If he doesn't respect what you bring to the table, then he doesn't need you in essence, and it really is a waste of your time. If he feels that all he wants you to do is teach his technique, then he should have told you that from the beginning and you wouldn't be having this misunderstanding.

Having said that, as always it will be the kids that wind up suffering if they are losing a good coach that actually cares about them and want to see them enjoy the game. However, you yourself have to be selfish in the fact that you aren't going to really enjoy being there, so what are the kids actually going to gain from that?

I told him how I feel and what I want to get out of the team and helping out. At first he got all defensive, but then he apologized (sort of). It was a backhanded apology. I dont know how long I can do this but I dont want to let these kids down. It is a tough thing to figure out. Thanks for the response. I am frustrated but these kids need me. More than half dont have dads or male figures in their lives. I can be a positive figure in their lives. I hope things change.

[santanadasavior]

I told him how I feel and what I want to get out of the team and helping out. At first he got all defensive, but then he apologized (sort of). It was a backhanded apology. I dont know how long I can do this but I dont want to let these kids down. It is a tough thing to figure out. Thanks for the response. I am frustrated but these kids need me. More than half dont have dads or male figures in their lives. I can be a positive figure in their lives. I hope things change.

What you are doing is great. I want to coach at least on the side if not full time in the future and I know that it is a tough job. The main thing I think you can do is try to take his plan and put a little twist to it. I think that if you stick to his philosophy and try to play off that he might loosen up after seeing you work some magic. I wish you the best of luck and hope that it all works out. Also, when and where are some of your games if I can or if it's geographically convienent I think I'd like to come out to one.

[BurgundyNGold]

I told him how I feel and what I want to get out of the team and helping out. At first he got all defensive, but then he apologized (sort of). It was a backhanded apology. I dont know how long I can do this but I dont want to let these kids down. It is a tough thing to figure out. Thanks for the response. I am frustrated but these kids need me. More than half dont have dads or male figures in their lives. I can be a positive figure in their lives. I hope things change.
I say finish up the season and you and your friends get your own team next year. You, of course, should be the coach so he can smooch your backside when you whomp 'em. :D

[SkinsASchamps]

What you are doing is great. I want to coach at least on the side if not full time in the future and I know that it is a tough job. The main thing I think you can do is try to take his plan and put a little twist to it. I think that if you stick to his philosophy and try to play off that he might loosen up after seeing you work some magic. I wish you the best of luck and hope that it all works out. Also, when and where are some of your games if I can or if it's geographically convienent I think I'd like to come out to one.

Thanks man. Its nice to have support. We play in Harrisonburg, Va. On monday and tuesday evenings. We lost last night on the last play of the game. A kid ran 80 yards as time expired to beat us. It was heartbreaking but we played our hearts out. Right now Im being the quality control guy and making sure everything goes smoothly. The head coach does offense and my friend does D. Its so much fun and I encourage you or anyone to coach. It makes you see things completely different. The kids I coach are very underappreciated at home. Many have no father figure. I am making a difference and it feels great. Please let me and all of us know if you coach and how it goes.

[SkinsASchamps]

I say finish up the season and you and your friends get your own team next year. You, of course, should be the coach so he can smooch your backside when you whomp 'em. :D

Thats exactly what we are planing on doing. I am going to implement a shotgun QB option offense. It would work so well against kids that cant all tackle so well. Im just trying to get thru this season and learn as much as I can from his mistakes (and mine). Thanks for the support. Its very nice to have.

[santanadasavior]

Thanks man. Its nice to have support. We play in Harrisonburg, Va. On monday and tuesday evenings. We lost last night on the last play of the game. A kid ran 80 yards as time expired to beat us. It was heartbreaking but we played our hearts out. Right now Im being the quality control guy and making sure everything goes smoothly. The head coach does offense and my friend does D. Its so much fun and I encourage you or anyone to coach. It makes you see things completely different. The kids I coach are very underappreciated at home. Many have no father figure. I am making a difference and it feels great. Please let me and all of us know if you coach and how it goes.

I have always had a passion for sports and my best asset is my noggin. I have a knowledge for the game and I would love to share that with some youngins. I'm still in high school so I won't land any real coaching jobs anytime soon but I plan to coach soccer in the spring and football in the fall and hopefully if I can't play help coach a college team in college. I won't be able to see any of your games because I live in Arlington but I wish you the best of luck.

[SkinsASchamps]

I have always had a passion for sports and my best asset is my noggin. I have a knowledge for the game and I would love to share that with some youngins. I'm still in high school so I won't land any real coaching jobs anytime soon but I plan to coach soccer in the spring and football in the fall and hopefully if I can't play help coach a college team in college. I won't be able to see any of your games because I live in Arlington but I wish you the best of luck.

Thanks again. I coach soccer in the spring as well. Sounds like we have similar interests. You should take a look at the hattrick thread in the general sports forum. Its fun and like coaching a fake soccer club. Check it out. :)

[AGibbsGirl]

I know this post is a day late and a dollar short but I too want to offer encouragement. The average parent will never know how much blood; sweat and tears go into being a coach...especially a volunteer coach.

I didn't know until we started the Rugby club. On top of coaching, babysitting, paying out of pocket, dealing with ungrateful parents, traveling, scheduling, butting heads with our head coach and everything else...sometimes you might just be saving a life...seriously...

We had a young man whose father was in prison, unfortunately the young man is now in prison as well, but hopefully not for long…but his Grandmother told us, Rugby was the first sport that taught her Grandson how to be a “Gentleman” she said it was the only thing he ever looked forward to doing as long as she could remember. He was always in trouble at school and in the neighborhood, but when he was with us, he was a perfect gentleman and a huge asset to the team, our boys loved him and took him in and looked beyond his tough exterior (well, they’re all tough when they play Rugby)…his Grandmother said that he should be out and ready to play in the Spring, she said it’s all he talks about.

So …thanks for loving those kids Dan, you have no idea the impact you are making!!!!!