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Spence
07-24-2007, 06:58 AM
Economic Models explained with Cows

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

skinfanatic
07-24-2007, 08:34 AM
really funny. the sicko in me laughed pretty hard at naziism

RedskinsDave
07-24-2007, 08:53 AM
http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/7/72/Donthavacow.jpg/180px-Donthavacow.jpg

Spence
07-24-2007, 09:08 AM
Just what you'd expect from someone who is an
http://www.bartfan.com/shirt32.jpg

swheeler
07-24-2007, 10:39 AM
This has been going around for years, but seems to get a little better every time I see it.

Spence
07-24-2007, 11:01 AM
This has been going around for years, but seems to get a little better every time I see it.Yeah, I hadn't seen it in a long time so I figured it was time to bring it out again.

redskin_rich
07-24-2007, 12:02 PM
REDSKIN_RICH-ISM
You had two cows.
Now you have two freezers full of meat.

shally
07-24-2007, 12:15 PM
CHENEYISM

you have 2 cows. one of them wanders out of the field and you shoot it in the face
then you discover that both are really bulls, but you continue to try and milk them , and when they dont produce any, you send 2 more bulls into the field and continue to milk all 4 of them anyway while blaming your neighbor who has pointed out that they are bulls for causing the milk to dry up

shally
07-24-2007, 12:17 PM
CLINTONISM

you have 2 cows. you discover your husband is "doing" one of the cows. you declare that that qualifies you to be president of the country. all the sheep bow down to you and say...baaaaaaaa... while you shear them

shally
07-24-2007, 12:21 PM
CARTERISM

you declare your cow to be morally superior to all the other cows while you go off and hammer a couple of nails into your neighbor's barn, whether he has asked you to or not

shally
07-24-2007, 12:24 PM
THOMPSONISM

you and your cow have been used in an ad to buy milk. you declare that makes you fit to be president of the country

shally
07-24-2007, 12:33 PM
RUDYISM

you have 2 cows. someone blows one of them up. you declare that makes you the best person to be president of the country

Agrawog
07-24-2007, 01:15 PM
No to be repetitive:

Chineism:

You have two cows
You illegally clone them to create a herd of 3 million cows
You sell the cows to others for pennies on the dollar

Antarticism:

You have two cows
They freeze to death
You don't care

Finlacism
You have two cows
You suffer from depression trying to figure out what it all means
The cows die from hunger and abuse
You continue to ponder the truth of it all as the sun sets