Popping the Question Question?

[LadyNRedskinsfan]

Originally Posted by hail2skins

Uhh, haven't you had several proposals on this board before?

I have....By the same person. Multiple times, haha...

I still can only sit back and read the responses lol.

Originally Posted by Keino

I am fortunate in many ways. My wife accepted that a huge engagement ring and wedding were out of the question. I viewed both as a collossal waste of money if you aren't well off. I chose instead to use those resources toward a nice house for my family....which I sold 5 years later at a huge profit. She didn't get that engagement ring to with the wedding band until our first anniversary in FL our 5th. Ive seen so many couples put undue financial stress trying to fulfilled some Disney princess dream instead of saving that expensive one day party for another time. And my daughters already know....I ain't that dude to honor some bride's parents pay for the day crape. I will them acquire a home before I put out 5 figures for a Damn wedding....eat and drink on my dime? No sir.

^THIS! I've said this a million times....The wedding last for ONE day. Folks forget about whats supposed to be the rest of their lives that follow that day. All I need is a ring pop til I get the real ring if money is an issue, lol...

[Carmelo]

Originally Posted by Keino

When I got tired of hearin' my wife say "I don't have no got damn ring on my finger" in response to just about any and everything.

Ditto When I realized that I actually never wanted to lose this woman I relented to her badgering.

[AustinSkin]

Originally Posted by Keino

I am fortunate in many ways. My wife accepted that a huge engagement ring and wedding were out of the question. I viewed both as a collossal waste of money if you aren't well off. I chose instead to use those resources toward a nice house for my family....which I sold 5 years later at a huge profit. She didn't get that engagement ring to with the wedding band until our first anniversary in FL our 5th. Ive seen so many couples put undue financial stress trying to fulfilled some Disney princess dream instead of saving that expensive one day party for another time. And my daughters already know....I ain't that dude to honor some bride's parents pay for the day crape. I will them acquire a home before I put out 5 figures for a Damn wedding....eat and drink on my dime? No sir.

I had a very similar experience. I was working two jobs in DC. One was trying to get a fledgeling software company off the ground with my brother with very little revenue coming in, and the other was bartending to pay the bills. We both went with simple wedding bands, a civil ceremony and one hell of a wedding party. The total cost for the entire wedding was less than $3,000 - most of which was invested in the party.

The software company, became successful, we got purchased by a much larger company, and she got a very nice rock on our 5th wedding anniversary. This year will mark 16 years and we have been best friends the entire time.

[dj_stouty]

Originally Posted by DUCKIN_TACKLERS

Also curious what was it that changed in your relationship after 3 years that led to you popping the question?

After 3 years...we pretty much found out the best and worst in each other; something I'm not sure we would have discovered any earlier. But that is unique to us and I'm not suggesting any more or less time is needed for any other couples.

[NCskinsfanatic]

We were friends for a few years first, then we started dating, got a place together about a year later, we didnt have much, shared a car and barely got by, but we had a blast. I proposed about 3 months after that...it'll be 15 years this June. We went out a lot when we met... we both loved live music, the beaches and hittin the dance floor and cuttin a lil rug. We are a lot more domestic these days but we have adapted well lol and I wouldnt change a thing.

[smoak]

Originally Posted by dj_stouty

After 3 years...we pretty much found out the best and worst in each other; something I'm not sure we would have discovered any earlier. But that is unique to us and I'm not suggesting any more or less time is needed for any other couples.

And I would add that people change so other things will come up. Marriages are tough... I don't know how people stay married.

People know I love my wife more than oxygen, but I have asked her if she wanted to maintain separate residences.

My thought is that you will know.

[smoak]

Originally Posted by LadyNRedskinsfan

I have....By the same person. Multiple times, haha...

I still can only sit back and read the responses lol.


^THIS! I've said this a million times....The wedding last for ONE day. Folks forget about whats supposed to be the rest of their lives that follow that day. All I need is a ring pop til I get the real ring if money is an issue, lol...

Be still my beating heart

[Keino]

Originally Posted by smoak

And I would add that people change so other things will come up. Marriages are tough... I don't know how people stay married.

This is a key point. People change. When you take the vows you are saying that you will love this person unconditionally and that means that they may change and/or grow in a different direction than you yourself change and/or grow. It is incumbant on both spouses to recognize this. The one who changed needs to accept the other person for who they are and not expect the same change. The other person needs to accept that this new person is still the same person who has changed or/grown.

[Emmanouel8]

My 2 cents is there is no magical indicators that says when the timing is right for 2 people to get married and make it work.

Living together is great, dating a long time is great, getting along is great, having money to afford a relationship is great.

Fighting not good, not dealing with financial issues not good, unrealistic expectations on eitehr end not good.

That being said everything can be great dating then go bad married and vice versa. Just use your gut.

If your still not satisfied and desperate then try the fart test. Both of you consume 9 grams or more of fiber one morning and let it rip in front of each other in the evening. If you still feel the same way about each other the next day then i'd say things are moving in the right direction.

[oldskinfan]

When I went on a long business trip, did not see her for a week, and realized how much I missed her and could not imagine life without her.

This was of course after we'd had discussions about kids, where we most wanted to live,etc.

Now if she had secretly been a Cowboys fan it would have been all over

[Patrick]

It was easy -
She enjoyed watching sports and we both liked the same type of music....
She really liked my cooking and didn't mind cleaning up after me....
She wanted to be part of my life and I the same with her.
And finally ......
She had MD season basketball tickets and I was on the Skins waiting list ....
33 years later we are still going strong!!!!

[AGibbsGirl]

Hubbo and I knew each other for 8 months when we got married, and we will celebrate 22 years on the 23rd. Don't let time be the factor. I was the one with reservations in our relationship, having been through a traumatizing divorce and custody battle.

This part of your original post, "I am starting to understand that "best friend" thing people talked about" is the more important then anything else IMO.

(Also, to this day, I only wear a wedding band. Hubbo has offered to buy me a diamond over the years, but I always tell him...buy me plane tickets instead. I would prefer to see the World then to wear a giant rock on my finger. In hindsight, it probably would have been cheaper for him to have bought me a ring ;-D)

[Keino]

Originally Posted by AGibbsGirl

(Also, to this day, I only wear a wedding band. Hubbo has offered to buy me a diamond over the years, but I always tell him...buy me plane tickets instead. I would prefer to see the World then to wear a giant rock on my finger. In hindsight, it probably would have been cheaper for him to have bought me a ring ;-D)

No price can be placed on the memories and experiences created by traveling together....and you both get to enjoy it.

[RedskinsDave]

My wife got a fat rock and a big wedding. I covered one her dead father the other. The latter was her choice and her money. It was an amazing day but it was just that, one day. Essentially we paid for a Mercedes E-class and drove it for one day.

[Keino]

Originally Posted by RedskinsDave

My wife got a fat rock and a big wedding. I covered one her dead father the other. The latter was her choice and her money. It was an amazing day but it was just that, one day. Essentially we paid for a Mercedes E-class and drove it for one day.

Yea, that would drive me nutz....the latter one. I can't begrudge the fat rock, it just wasn't in the cards for me at the time. But the one day party and spending that kind of money, money that would go a long way toward our joint household would be an instant conflict. I just personally cannot justify it without hitting the Powerball, I don't care who is actually putting out the money. If my Father-in-law would have offered (not that his ass would have or could have) I would have asked him to put that money toward our house.....I can always have a catered house party for a fraction of the cost.

My wedding cost me less than $1000 and it occurred at sunset in the Virgin Islands in a beautiful Gazeebo overlooking the bay at the Frenchmen's Reef Marriott. It was great. Wedding and Honeymoon all wrapped up in a tidy little package. We had an Isaac the Bartender hooking up the drinks and we generally had a great time. The Wedding took all of 20 mins...no BS stress, no Bridezilla nonsense. I got married in Khakis and Timbos. #Keepinitreal