Poor nations eager to surrender to US for reconstruction money
September 27, 2003 Bush’s request of $89 billion to aid the reconstruction of Afghanistan and Iraq has whetted the appetite of many povery-stricken countries
Washington — Several of the world’s poorest nations have asked the United States to initiate military campaigns in their countries in a desperate attempt to cash-in on lucrative reconstruction monen. At least eight developing nations welcome a US attack with the promise of clean water, electricity, and health care.
Rwandan President Maj. Gen. Paul Kagame made a personal appeal for military action against his homeland to President Bush today. “We are very poor country, and we want new roads and health care like Iraq, too. We have no weapons of mass destruction, but we can probably create some if that is necessary. Please Mr. Bush, invade us at once!” pleaded Kagame.
Kagame told reporters he understood that a US occupation could require him to step down as President, as was the case for Saddam Hussein in Iraq. “I understand the ramifications. We are hungry people. Help us, attack us!”
The nations yearning for their own destruction as of today are Botswana, Cambodia, Honduras, Rwanda, Thailand, Uganda, Zambia, and Zimbabwe. Ambassadors for several of these countries have fully briefed White House officials.
Ambassador Roland Eng said the citizens of Cambodia are filled with hopeful dreams of a “shock and awe” invasion and the new facilities and services it will bring. “We’re completely willing to be destroyed by the United States military so that the United States taxpayer can pay for nice, new things. Besides, have you seen Cambodia recently? It’s all pretty messed up right now anyway.”
The White House has not yet formally responded to the requests, but President Kagame is making sure the Bush administration is aware of Rwanda’s desperate position. “We are very weak and too tired to fight you! We are working on getting some chemical weapons to threaten your people with so you attack us! Do not forget!”